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Have you ever wondered if your experiences, traumas, or issues are truly yours? Do they really belong to you? There is a lot of…

— on mother’s day

The world closes beyond the window of my clinic room. Everyday I wake up and the first thing I do is stand against my four paned, vertical lined black grilled clinic window and stare out. I see each day the money plants at the parapet grow, a strong water weed…

— Understanding fate, time and space in the light of ethics

One of my teachers I was studying Family Constellations with once told me that there are only three kinds of businesses — my business, your business and God’s business. I asked him what the third meant. He said, we don’t know whether God exists or he doesn’t but ancestors do…

Breathing with the Flowers: Dr Gaurav Deka

Trauma doesn’t have a language which can be clearly defined, written, spoken one sentence following the other with proper intonations and pauses. Purely because when trauma happens and one goes through an impact of such severity, the part of the brain that is responsible for rationalizing, processing, understanding and language…

A Complex System
Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

In my working with systems, I have realized that individual wishes, aspirations, or even suffering is an extension of something greater: a system. What is a system? A family is a system, a house is a system, a refrigerator is a system, the human body is a system. Everything that…

Eternity postulates ‘never’ end.

Can you tell me what is common about the following statements/declarations?

  • I will love you forever.
  • I will never talk to you.
  • I have always been poor.
  • I can never make two lakhs a month.
  • I always end up with people who abuse me.

Words like ‘forever’, ‘never’, ‘always’, ‘ever’ are called Eternity Words , and the statements that you can…

And even before I’d want to begin with how that leads to PTSD, I am reminded of a beautiful idea about memory that one of my writer friends had shared:

Memory lies in the particular, and not in the collective, my friend.

The thing about trauma is also somewhat similar…

Dr. Gaurav Deka

Delhi Based Writer & Doctor | Trauma Resolution Expert | Family Constellation Trainer & Psychotherapist | LGBT Counsellor

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